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18 June 2008 @ 04:36 pm
AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH.  
GODDAMN IT, JASPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THAT SO-CALLED BROTHER OF MINE DID?

Okay.  *breathes deeply*  We were going to go to school.  This is what happened:

Esme: Hey, guys, shouldn't you be headed to school?  You're going to be late.
Me: We're waiting on Jasper.
Jasper: MY HAIIIRRRRRRR.  UGH.  I NEVER SHOULD'VE GONE TO THAT STUPID HAIR SALON!  LOOK AT IT!  LOOK AT IT!  I LOOK LIKE...LIKE...LIKE...
Me: Like Beyonce with a bad weave?
Jasper: UGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rosalie: Who did your hair, anyway?
Jasper: Some lunatic named Catherine Hardwicke!  
Alice: I told you you should've let ME do it!  But that's beside the point.  I think you look fabulous, darling...
Jasper: *mutters* Yeah, 'cause your hair looks REALLLL hot right now...
Alice: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Jasper: I said you look real hot right now!  Yummy yummy!  You know I love me some psychic vampire booty!
Alice: You think my hair looks bad?  But...but...Catherine said it looked nice...
Jasper: Baby, it looks fine.  Fine like you!  So fine!  Mmmhmm.  Edward, don't she be lookin' fine?
Me: Um...
Emmett: Fine.  Okay.  That works.  It really doesn't matter, you guys.  We all know that me and Rose are the looks of this family. 
Rosalie: Yeah, guys, you've always been tragically ugly.  But that's okay.  We love you for who you--
Alice: What did you just call me, ho?
Rosalie: I mean, seriously, it's not a big deal.  Looks aren't everything.
Alice: Oh, yeah?  Well, then, I'll be honest with you, honey.  You look like a tramp in that outfit.
Rosalie: ...and?
Alice: And...and...YOUR HAIR MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DRAG QUEEN.  EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE A BOTTLE BLONDE!  AND THAT SKIRT DOES MAKE YOUR BUTT LOOK FAT!
Rosalie: OMGWTFBBQ YOU WHORE! *attacks Alice*
Me: Uhm, guys.  We're going to be late for--
Emmett: Chick fight!  Saweeeeeeeet.
Jasper: Dude, stop looking at my WIFE!
Me: GUYS.  WE REALLY HAVE GOT TO GET TO SCHOOL.  I HAVE TO PICK UP BELLA.
Jasper: Yeah, well, she'll get over it.  Right now, there's a blonde PSYCHOPATH beating up my wife!
Emmett: Hey!  Nobody calls MY wife a psychopath except for ME.  And sometimes Carlisle.
Me: OMG NO ONE CARES ABOUT--
Jasper: Oh, that's right.  There's a FAT blonde psychopath beating up my wife!
Emmett: Ohnohedihnt!  MY WIFE IS NOT FAT!  YOU'RE JUST ANGRY 'CAUSE YOUR WIFE IS, LIKE, A MIDGET OR SOMETHING!
Jasper: *attacks Emmett*
Esme: Children, PLEASE...
Me: STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ANGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  BELLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  I'M SORRRRRRYYYYYYYYY THAT I'M LAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEE!
Everyone: *stops fighting*
Rosalie: ...so.  How about we take the BMW this morning?
Emmett: Sounds good, babe.
Alice: I call shotgun!
Jasper: Yeah, I changed my mind, Edward.  We don't need you to drive us to school in the Volvo.
Me: *twitch*  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So THEN I was late to school because Bella made me drive the speed limit.  AND I GOT A FUCKING DETENTION.  WHAT.  THE.  HELL.


I HATE MY LIIIIIIIIFE. 
 
 
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
 
 
sexstarvedbella on June 18th, 2008 09:37 pm (UTC)
*le sigh*

You might be indistructable , but I'm still HUMAN. ( HINT HINT )
I wasn't about to let you drive off the road and kill me.

Though that would be a good ploy to get you to get off your vampire ass and bite me allready.

Come over later, I'll make up for your detention.
TFtoxic_glory on June 19th, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
kisuvampyr: GrizzlyI madekisuvampyr on June 18th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
Emmett
*offers princess crown*

Im sorry bout this morning dude, it's just, I mean, we were, and then, and you, and well.

You can wear it for a week , deal?
TFtoxic_glory on June 19th, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
Re: Emmett
Well...Bella *did* say it brought out the sexy in my eyes...

Deal.
d_dazzledd_dazzled on July 26th, 2008 12:52 pm (UTC)
They shouldn't have gave you a detention!
Vampire D will totally kick their----
Or, I'll get Emmett to do it :)
BY THE WAY....
Hey Edward,
I'm D.
LOL.
hibellahibella on August 16th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC)
NO, detention? Why didn't you dazzle you way out of it with yr secks eyes